Ask Questions

Rob Naddelman: Through a Parent’s Eyes

Have you ever had a conversation with someone where all they do is talk about themself? They never ask you a question about how you are doing or what is going on in your life. Usually you exit that conversation feeling pretty disappointed.

One of the best pieces of advice I have ever received from a colleague of mine was very simple: ask questions. If you want to make people feel good about themselves, and you want to be a better conversationalist, the easiest thing to do is engage the other person and ask them how things are going in THEIR life or what THEY are thinking about.

I have found that “asking questions” works very well when trying to communicate with high school baseball players. Young men aged 14-18 don’t always make the best talkers, but if you are genuinely concerned with their well being and you engage them in discussion by asking them thought provoking questions, usually you get a much more productive conversation. This applies a great deal when discussing the college recruiting process and schools they are interested in attending. I tend to ask our Baseball Factory players questions such as:

1. Can you see yourself being happy at that school?

2. What do you think about going to school with classroom sizes of 300+ students?

3. What did you think of the baseball coach and his philosophy? Can you see yourself playing for him?

4. Have you thought about what academic discipline you want to pursue?

5. How do you think you will do being that far away from home?

The list can go on and on. The point is that engaging your counterpoint in a discussion with questions is sure to get their mind thinking and usually makes the person feel special and valued. I think this is a good tactic for all parents to practice, not only with their children, but also in their everyday life with other people they come into contact with.

If you feel yourself approaching every conversation by only talking about yourself, take a step back and remember this blog and ask the person you are speaking with a question instead. I am sure you will see the conversation move in a more positive direction.

Rob Naddelman is the President of Baseball Factory. Naddelman is a former two-time All Ivy League Third Baseman at the University of Pennsylvania, where he competed in a College World Series Regional. He has served as the President of Baseball Factory for the past 13 years, and also is the Executive Director of Baseball Factory's charitable arm The B.A.S.E. - H.I.T. Foundation. Naddelman and Steve Sclafani (CEO) have been featured in Business Week and CNN for their work in building Baseball Factory into the nation's leader in player development and college placement.